Caring for Difficult People

Written by Gede Prama

Like a rotten apple, if there is one that is super difficult person in the family or a workplace, he/she will be very contagious. This era is indeed strange, the good things are very difficult to spread. But the bad ones spread so easily. For this reason, super special intelligence is needed so that these super-difficult people do not excessively spread negative auras. In the world of jokes, there are stories like this: “If a fool is short of money, at a best circumstances he will only steals a car side mirrors. But if super-smart people feel lack of money, not only can the car be taken away, even the car factory can be destroyed ”.

The implicit message is we need to increase the awareness that if the super-difficult people come from the super-smart groups. Its destruction will be far more intense. Javanese elders have a spiritual heritage that deserves to be deposited: “Fools will lose out from smart people. Smart people lose out from cunning people. But there are people who cannot be defeated by cunning people, namely someone who always feels lucky”. This is where the science of caring for super difficult people should begin. If you want to “beat” them, don’t try to defeat them with intelligence, or even try to be more cunning. He/she will only extend the long list of violence that has been long happened.

Start by seeing super difficult people as a force in this world to increase your energy of luck. Exactly, luck in oneself (the inner feng shui). Without sandpaper, wood will not be smooth and become a beautiful statue. Without a blasting wind, the kite will not fly. Without a sharp knife, bamboo will not be a very beautiful sounding flute. That’s how super difficult people should be placed. They are not a source of threat, they are bringing opportunities to make the soul radiate brighter. With a spirit like this, abundant energy will appear inside to be able to care for them.

On the path of compassion, there is a cure for both sides. Both for the one who hurt and the one that being hurt. Namely recognizing the network of suffering behind super difficult people. From troubled parents, schools that are full of calamities, always lacking on finance, until the soul whom is always anxious. Once their network of suffering is open, compassion usually rises inside. The perfect quality of compassion will makes someone neatly protected. At the same time, creative energy rises, and sends positive vibrations to people who intend to be less commendable.

Friends who are diligent and sincere on this path understand that an abundant ways and reason will often appear in the field. For practical purposes in the field, it is much easier to tame super difficult people using our ears than using our lips. That is, listening with empathy will have a far greater positive impact, compared to arguing and arguing here and there. It often happens, people who are super difficult will be more difficult to control if invited to debate. Moreover, the debate will be more towards attacking. He/she will bring both sides into the abyss.

“Listen without being littered with the intention to correct the mistakes of others”, that is the basic knowledge of the art of listening. By listening like this, not only the one who being heard will cool down, we as listeners will also feel more relax. Deeper than that, there are often positive interactions of energy if the dialogue is done without excessive lust to correct the mistakes of others. Even more so if this way of listening is combined with a gaze of full acceptance. Concretely, see the other person whom are talking like a mother seeing her crying baby.

In meditation classes often seen, the combination of sincerity to listen without lust to correct, with a gaze full of acceptance, often makes the friends cry in tears, even before the conversation begins. Especially because there are subtle and sincere energies of compassion there. It is like finding a mother they have been looking for from one life to another. In one of the meditation sessions that happened, the super difficult child rebelled to his mother because he was sent to a meditation session. That night he ran away. With a very disgraceful intention.

Not only he failed to run away from our meditation place, a group of dogs led this child back to the meditation site. Because the wild dog are many and fierce, this child is forced to return. In another meditation session, there are troubled adolescents who are drug dependent who give very beautiful advice: “Guruji, be careful about people like us. If we didnt get a proper medication for a while, we can take a glass to throw to the face of the person we are talking to. ” The message is, when we listen to the super difficult people and accept them, not only they will not attack, but the forces of protection will always protect us . Even super difficult people is here to protect us.

Other practical suggestions, as often as possible do sympathetic telepathic communication with super difficult people. Concretely, as often as possible imagine the good things they have done. From having been assisted, ever rescued, had been invited to eat well, and a long list of other goodness. Then, pray that they will be healthy and safe. As painful and tangent as it feels inside, don’t be tempted to think and talk badly about super difficult people. This approach not only saves others. It actually saves the journey of your own soul.

The key word lies in self-management. Perseverance and sincerity to always keep yourself calm and balanced. Far from fear and confusion. On the contrary, accompanied by peace then try to feel the suffering in this world as a part of our suffering too. As simple as the right hand caring for the injured left hand. This method will not always be successful, of course. But whatever happens, remind yourself again and again: “If it can be changed, please do change it. If it can not be changed, then just accept it. Often, some people can change because they are not too forced to be change. Some others change because they are received beautifully. This is a beautiful spiritual path.

Author: Guruji Gede Prama.
Photo: Pinterest.
Translated by: Family Compassion.

About the author

Gede Prama

Gede Prama started his spiritual journey through a dialogue with his symbolic Guru in a village at the north of Bali. The journey is then being enriched with his experiences of studying abroad, his meetings with the world greatest spiritual Gurus: His Holiness Dalai Lama, The Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, as well as Professor Karen Armstrong; and also being deepened by his intense meditation practices.

Despite the fact that he was once a CEO of a large corporation with thousand of employees, and was traveling abroad frequently for the purpose of teaching, yet, being deeply moved by the Bali bombing incident in 2002, he then decided to leave everything and went back to his home island.
He has never leave Bali for the past few years. In fact, he rarely leaves the silence of the forest where he lives, except for the purpose of teaching at the sacred sites within Bali.

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