Here and there, there is a rising number of divorces, here and there, there are rising suicide rates, here and there the inhabitants of mental hospitals are also rising. And it is not right to criticize this or that, but an invitation to do something to make our current rebirth more useful and meaningful.
And one of the social units in the community that has the potential to be invited to cool the violence is family. Especially because the cool family has the potential to make the community cool as well. Moreover, family is similar to the port for ships, similar to airports for aircrafts. A cool place where deficiencies can be processed into materials of growth.
Referring to a number of works on the psychology of relationships, the psychological sides of the husband-wife relationship, it is important to recognize two instincts. Firstly is the mother instinct (an instinct that is inherently owned by any mother) that settles in each wife. Secondly is the heroic instinct (instinct of heroism) which is naturally stored in each husband.
What makes this journey challenging, these two instincts appear to the surface in different faces. So it takes a very high sensitivity to make someone find these two instincts, as well as use it as materials of action in daily life.
Let’s start by understanding the mother instincts. To be honest, every women no matter how hard they appear outside, no matter how rude her language is, have the seeds of motherhood inside. Because of the trials and challenges of the past in particular, some women have tried to cover them up. Nevertheless, the seed of motherhood still grows in there.
The duties of a husband then, providing an opportunity for these seeds to grow in healthy and beautiful way. To make it concrete, give the wife wide opportunity to be very close to the boys in particular. Give them time together, being happy together, recreation together, until the children feel the softness of her mother. It is even better if the children get very close to the mother, until they tell the mother the very secret things that are very personal.
The surface signs that this motherly instinct began to grow, her body is healthy, her face looks more beautiful from day to day, she feels at home with family, she is not interested at all in the temptation of infidelity. Above all, she will take good care of the family like taking good care of her own body.
The story of the heroic instinct is different. As carved in old caves tens of thousands of years old in southern France and northern Spain, men have always been happy to be placed in a heroic position. In ancient times, the symbol was a man who could hunt wild animals. In this age, men are generally responsible for the family’s financial safety. Responsible also for the stability of the family as a whole.
It will be good that a wife gives her husband the opportunity to have the best career, the highest schooling, encouraging him not to give up easily. And most importantly, inviting the children to honor their father, just as the ancient societies honored men who like to hunt.
The surface signs of a man whose heroic instincts had grown, his self-confidence improves from day to day, he has high responsibility in the family, he can even make sacrifices for family safety, his appearance tends to be more sympathetic as he grows older, and he is not at all interested in the temptations of infidelity.
The beautiful blend of a healthy mothering instinct, with heroic instincts can make family grow in a very healthy way, it can make families not only survive, but also it can make the family become cool trees for countless souls. From the last cool trees we can illuminate a lot of darkness in this day and age.
Author: Guruji Gede Prama.
Proofread by: Kirsty Spence.