Planting The Seeds of a Happy Family

Written by Gede Prama

All big trees start from small seeds. Likewise, threatening bombs are also assembled from small materials. In the same way, family disasters called divorce also come from the small seeds of unhappiness. Long before this type of catastrophe occurs, early “small” signs had appeared many times.

A number of Western researchers in the field of divorce found how the so-called “small” things in the family can grow into a big disaster that spoils the family. Here are seven “little” things that can grow into a big disaster in the family. First of all, excessive addiction to social media in particular, making many couples lose eye contact.

In fact, eye contact is a simple but profound step that makes two souls more well-connected. Secondly, since the beginning of marriage many couples often run away from conflicts and minor incompatibilities. They tend to keep it silent. Once it accumulates a lot inside, it explodes into a devastating bomb.

Thirdly, long before the divorce occurs, the daily conversation tends to revolve around the house and children only. A kind of conversation which is not only boring, but also makes the relationship very superficial on the surface. Fourthly, excessive addiction on social media in particular, can lead couples elsewhere. For that reason, when both of you have time together, learn to have the courage to turn off the gadget.

Fifth, the older the age of the marriage, the differences among couples does not decrease. The site of even reported, in the last few years the divorce rate of married couples who have been married more than 50 years with the same partner in the US, increased more than twice. The lesson then, forget the old dream that you can make the spouse exactly the same as you. Learn to be happy with differences.

Sixth, the unique characteristics of couples who want to get divorced, from day to day they increasingly lost the unique characteristics of themselves. Wife who likes being a housewife is forced to have a polite public appearance. A tired husband in old age, asked to drive to the mall every day.

Seventh, children who grow away from their natural calling, as a matter of time will be a burden to the parents. Ideally, it is the children who take good care of the parents in old age. But here and there we can see, old people whose bodies are weak and tired still taking good care of children with mental illness.

This often happens because from the beginning the children are forced to follow the will of the parents. Parents who fail to become doctors, forcing their son to become a doctor. Parents who read that the field of information technolgy (IT) is amazing, forcing children to learn IT. The “small” error at the beginning like this can have a long-lasting impact, it can even make the parents not only get divorced, but also die of a stroke.

A writer on the website interviewed thousands of people whose marriages had been burned by divorce. Here are three essence conclusions that can be drawn from there. First, changing spouses does not automatically make life happier. This conclusion is placed as the first and the foremost conclusion.

Second, at the beginning of a relationship love is only related to pleasure. But as time passes, love is closer to courage. To put it more precisely, the courage to continue loving despite being injured. Third, due to various factors, disloyalty often arises here and there. But family heroes do not use disloyalty to end family. But use it to strengthen the roots of the family tree through mutual acceptance and forgiveness.

In short, marriage is not a restaurant where people expect only fun. A marriage is closer to the garden containing the various types of seeds. In the hands of family heroes, these seeds are recognized from the beginning. Treated according to their nature. Anyone who is diligent and sincere in this, one day will be awaited by a beautiful old age which is full of blessings.

Author: Guruji Gede Prama.
Photo Courtesy: Creative Market.
Proofread By: Kirsty Spence.

About the author

Gede Prama

Gede Prama started his spiritual journey through a dialogue with his symbolic Guru in a village at the north of Bali. The journey is then being enriched with his experiences of studying abroad, his meetings with the world greatest spiritual Gurus: His Holiness Dalai Lama, The Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, as well as Professor Karen Armstrong; and also being deepened by his intense meditation practices.

Despite the fact that he was once a CEO of a large corporation with thousand of employees, and was traveling abroad frequently for the purpose of teaching, yet, being deeply moved by the Bali bombing incident in 2002, he then decided to leave everything and went back to his home island.
He has never leave Bali for the past few years. In fact, he rarely leaves the silence of the forest where he lives, except for the purpose of teaching at the sacred sites within Bali.

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