The True Friend

Written by Gede Prama

True friend is a very close family which is chosen by the heart, that’s one of the old and sacred legacies of Tibetan elder. While biological families (parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts) are given without being able to choose, but the true friends are naturally chosen through a long selection process of the heart.

This message is very important especially in the midst of the rapid rise of divorce rates everywhere, the meaning of family getting narrower here and there (it includes only husband, wife and children), the number of people who have sympathy and empathy for others are decreasing everywhere, the presence of true friends is truly needed. Without the presence of a true friend in old age in particular, life would be like a dry and arid garden.

For that reason, it is important to open the eyes of sensitivity as soon as possible, to see the people around who have the potential to be transformed into true friends. The golden moments that often help in this regard are the cycles of times when life fall into a deep valley of shortcomings and limitations.

To be more concrete, take a look at a few close friends who still come with a gentle smile when the financial situation is very mediocre, people’s praise has begun to disappear, the body began to be weak because of illness. Assuming someone has a beautiful seed of heart (more helping and less harming), there will always be at least one person who still comes with a gentle smile in the moment when the soul entered saddening abyss.

This kind of person should be treated as beautiful as possible, as gentle as possible, as kind as possible. At least treat them with eyes which is full of gratitude, ears which is happy by deeply listening, lips which keep smiling, a heart that is showered by loving-kindness and compassion.

Whenever you meet this type of friends, always deeply ask yourself: “How can I make this person smile?”. Not only jokes and laughter that can make other people smile, but warm and friendly body language, beautiful attitude also can make others smile even more deeply.

Attention is the active partner of action, that is an old message in the deep spiritual world. It simply means, your focus of attention also help you to create what kind of friend that you will have in the future. Especially if the focus of your attention is in line with your action, the creating effect will be amazing. For that reason, in line with developing a beautiful attitude, always see the beautiful sides of your friends.

As material of contemplation, like well-fertilized garden that has the potential to produce beautiful flowers, everyone has their own beautiful sides. The spiritual task then, find these beautiful sides. It can be a very proud past. It could be the parents that they loves very much. Or the quality of being independence since a very young age. Every time you have dialogue, softly remind your friend of these beautiful seeds.

Whenever there is time together, try alternately to water each one of us by listening to each others. When they make a mistake, forgiveness is a very secure spiritual parachute. When your friends are having bad luck and misfortune, it becomes a golden time to treat each others and water each others.

And above all, only those who found a true friend inside who will find a true friend outside. Deeply learning from this, along with the development of true friends outside, remember also to be the good friend of your life as it is. Every time you go to the mirror, look deep into the eyes of person in the mirror with deep compassion. Unconditionally hug every wound that is hidden there, then recite the following mantra: “I love you just the way you are”. If you are blessed, in the right time you will find the true friends. A kind of close family both in sorrow and joy which are chosen by the heart.

Author: Guruji Gede Prama.
Photo Courtesy: Twitter @Ramblingsloa.

About the author

Gede Prama

Gede Prama is a long student on peace. He began his childhood by communing with symbolical Guru in one of old village in north Bali. Later on when he learned from the life stories of many maha siddha (the enlightened), he began to understand his spiritual experience in childhood. This last experience then enriched by meditating, reading, researching and personal meeting with some of world wide spiritual Gurus like HH Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh and Karen Armstrong.

Scholarship enables Gede Prama to continue his post graduate study to England and France. Hard work makes Gede Prama was appointed as CEO (chief executive officer) of a large corporation at the age of 38. And one year later he left behind all luxuries of corporate world then begin a journey of serving. To serve people on the path of peace.

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