The True Friend

Written by Gede Prama

True friend is a very close family which is chosen by the heart, that’s one of the old and sacred legacies of Tibetan elder. While biological families (parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts) are given without being able to choose, but the true friends are naturally chosen through a long selection process of the heart.

This message is very important especially in the midst of the rapid rise of divorce rates everywhere, the meaning of family getting narrower here and there (it includes only husband, wife and children), the number of people who have sympathy and empathy for others are decreasing everywhere, the presence of true friends is truly needed. Without the presence of a true friend in old age in particular, life would be like a dry and arid garden.

For that reason, it is important to open the eyes of sensitivity as soon as possible, to see the people around who have the potential to be transformed into true friends. The golden moments that often help in this regard are the cycles of times when life fall into a deep valley of shortcomings and limitations.

To be more concrete, take a look at a few close friends who still come with a gentle smile when the financial situation is very mediocre, people’s praise has begun to disappear, the body began to be weak because of illness. Assuming someone has a beautiful seed of heart (more helping and less harming), there will always be at least one person who still comes with a gentle smile in the moment when the soul entered saddening abyss.

This kind of person should be treated as beautiful as possible, as gentle as possible, as kind as possible. At least treat them with eyes which is full of gratitude, ears which is happy by deeply listening, lips which keep smiling, a heart that is showered by loving-kindness and compassion.

Whenever you meet this type of friends, always deeply ask yourself: “How can I make this person smile?”. Not only jokes and laughter that can make other people smile, but warm and friendly body language, beautiful attitude also can make others smile even more deeply.

Attention is the active partner of action, that is an old message in the deep spiritual world. It simply means, your focus of attention also help you to create what kind of friend that you will have in the future. Especially if the focus of your attention is in line with your action, the creating effect will be amazing. For that reason, in line with developing a beautiful attitude, always see the beautiful sides of your friends.

As material of contemplation, like well-fertilized garden that has the potential to produce beautiful flowers, everyone has their own beautiful sides. The spiritual task then, find these beautiful sides. It can be a very proud past. It could be the parents that they loves very much. Or the quality of being independence since a very young age. Every time you have dialogue, softly remind your friend of these beautiful seeds.

Whenever there is time together, try alternately to water each one of us by listening to each others. When they make a mistake, forgiveness is a very secure spiritual parachute. When your friends are having bad luck and misfortune, it becomes a golden time to treat each others and water each others.

And above all, only those who found a true friend inside who will find a true friend outside. Deeply learning from this, along with the development of true friends outside, remember also to be the good friend of your life as it is. Every time you go to the mirror, look deep into the eyes of person in the mirror with deep compassion. Unconditionally hug every wound that is hidden there, then recite the following mantra: “I love you just the way you are”. If you are blessed, in the right time you will find the true friends. A kind of close family both in sorrow and joy which are chosen by the heart.

Author: Guruji Gede Prama.
Photo Courtesy: Twitter @Ramblingsloa.

About the author

Gede Prama

Gede Prama started his spiritual journey through a dialogue with his symbolic Guru in a village at the north of Bali. The journey is then being enriched with his experiences of studying abroad, his meetings with the world greatest spiritual Gurus: His Holiness Dalai Lama, The Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, as well as Professor Karen Armstrong; and also being deepened by his intense meditation practices.

Despite the fact that he was once a CEO of a large corporation with thousand of employees, and was traveling abroad frequently for the purpose of teaching, yet, being deeply moved by the Bali bombing incident in 2002, he then decided to leave everything and went back to his home island.
He has never leave Bali for the past few years. In fact, he rarely leaves the silence of the forest where he lives, except for the purpose of teaching at the sacred sites within Bali.

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