“Why is it such difficult to forgive others and accept life as it is?”, This is the question many spiritual friends. To be honest, the difficulty of forgiving others and to accept life as it is in daily life is not caused by the huge mistakes of others, but because of one’s ego.
Once the ego getting smaller, or the ego disappear totally, by then forgiving others and accepting life is much easier. The question then, what is the origin of ego? Quoting from The Book of Mirdad: “when the serpent tempted Eve to eat the fruit of pain and pleasure, in fact that is the deepest root of duality”.
In other words, the seed of ego is duality. There are many people who believe that they are right, then they attack the others who are considered to be wrong. There are abundant of people who think that they are kind, then they don’t want to be the friend of those who are considered to be unkind.
The point is simple, many people are being dictated by duality. In personal life, almost all human beings dream of having a safe and comfortable life. In fact, do not talk about commoners, even prophets, avatar, or Buddha did not have a fully secure and comfortable life.
To be enlightened or not, life is always flow from safe to the unsafe then back to safe again, from comfortable to the uncomfortable then back to comfortable again. That is why meditation does not teach people to be safe or to be comfortable. Meditation is an art of being complete and whole. Repeating the message in meditation classes: “meditation is not being happy all the time, but being mindful all the time”.
In the language of psychology, meditation is a series of steps to meet the deeper self. The deeper self is not the body, it is not the mind, it is not the feelings, it is not the intellect. The word “not” is emphasized here.
To put it simply, whatever the blessing of this moment, from numbness until peaceful mind, always say “no”. In this approach, spiritual seekers keep digging themselves deeper and deeper.
Zen teacher Ezra Bayda has a tips which is worth to try. Whenever you experience extreme feelings like too sad or too happy, deeply fail or highly succeed, extremely blamed or extremely praised, learn to practice three breathing exercises.
For example, your boss is angry at you, quickly return back to your breath for three inhaling and exhaling breath. Within these few seconds of meditative moments, learn to experience the present without any judgment. Remember beautiful souls, there’s flower in wastes, there is important lessons in your boss anger.
Any one who is diligent and sincere to practice like this, one day they will meet wholeness. And at the home of wholeness, to forgive and to accept life is much easier. More than just easy to forgive and accept, at the home of wholeness life turns into a dancing of compassion. Peace is here to guide as many beings as possible to enter the same gate of peace.
Author: Gede Prama.
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